Rough Work in Progress (The first draft of the new opening to my script)

Prolog
Setting, night time in Brooklyn, a group of girls are walking the streets each carrying an identical hardcover book. The girls are laughing and giggling about something to do with a guy. A voice over begins while the camera continues to follow the girls but this time from behind and about thirty paces back.

Voice: This is the third night in a row that I have followed a group of female kine just like these. Each night they carry the same ridiculous novel published by a ghoul of a demented Malkavian. A book that thinly gives a peek into the world of vampires, something I am sure the Camarilla are none to thrilled about. But do they punish this miscreant Lunatic no; they chalk it up as a prank. To think a vampire falling in love, our hearts stop beating the moment The Embrace starts. Sparkling daywalkers if such a thing ever existed Kane would be rolling over in his unfound grave.

One of the girls breaks off from the group after waving goodbye to her friends. Brunette with blue eyes wearing a Team Edward T-shirt smiles and hugs her book to her chest.

Voice: Finally my chance, has come, she will be added to the collectio. But first a slight change

Turning just after the girl broke off once she is a good distance down the second street he makes his presence known. Turning around the girls face goes from horrified to absolutely delighted.

Girl: Oh my god. Please tell me I am not dreaming

The back of the man’s head is all that we can see as he shakes his head to confirm she is not dreaming.

Girl: Oh my god oh my god oh my god, I absolutely love you. Can I take my picture with you and make it look like you are turning me into a vampire.

The man nods in acceptance and waits for her to come closer for him to embrace her like he was going to bite her neck. His smile turns into grin of delight as he sinks his teeth into his victim’s jugular just as the picture was snapped. To shocked to scream, the girl gasps for air as the life is drained from her body. The phone falls lifeless from her hand as the camera follows its descent to the ground. When it lands the picture is clear, the girls face smiling into the camera, but her murderer is a blur. The scene fades out

Music begins to play as the opening credits role